Wednesday, December 7, 2011

10 Clever Gingerbread Houses

With the Christmas season coming, or is it already here, I thought it would be fun to do some lists relating to Christmas.  Ten Gingerbread Houses You Would Live In, Then Eat. The witch’s house in Hansel and Gretel has nothing on these confectionery structures.

Gingerbread Cat House

Few gingerbread men will admit a visit to this house of ill repute on the “other side” of Candyland, across from the Molasses Swamp. Gramma Nutt, from Candy Land fame, still runs the place and makes sure every gingerbread man gets his gumdrops off. The gingerbread girls are the best and were baked anatomically correct, with ginger in all the right places. 

Gingerbread Mansion

This gingerbread family was doing something right financially. They finally made it to the top and are living in their dream gingerbread mansion. At least until the government finds out about the illegal immigrant Bizcochitos (Mexican Christmas Cookies) they hired. 

Gingerbread English Brownstone

This gingerbread brownstone home was recently declared an historic landmark and avoided being condemned. Even though it had been des(s)erted, except for the occasional homeless gingerbread man, the city made every effort to keep it from being eaten, I mean torn down.

Gingerbread Victorian

Like most Victorian gingerbread homes, this one is haunted. As the story goes, a former gingerbread man who owned this gingerbread house lost his head when he fell head first into a milk bath by accident. Knocked unconscious, his head slowly disintegrated, turning the milk bath into a sickly brown liquid. The police on the scene said he was delicious. His headless gingerbread ghost still makes the rounds, or so they say. 

Gingerbread Mill House

A clever twist on the “ordinary” gingerbread house, the Gingerbread Mill, which produces, yep you guessed it…ginger. How did you thing gingerbread babies were made? 

Gingerbread Log Cabin

This builder made a delicious and “green” decision to build a gingerbread log cabin. His heating bill will be much lower this year. He was used to living in an oven, so he likes it extremely warm.

Gingerbread Bridge

This gingerbread bridge allowed the gingerbread families to save 20 minutes off of their daily commute from the candlyland countryside. This replacement bridge still serves as a reminder of the horrible gingerbread bridge collapse of 1883. Some 30 gingerbread souls perished. More were baked soon after, so its cool.

Gingerbread Townhomes

Luckily these gingerbread townhome owners all get along, even while being right on top of each other. A family of odd smelling brownies tried to move in, but the owners association stepped in. Thank goodness. 

Brick-a-brack Gingerbread House

The housing market in this area has hit bottom and while a home like this used to sell for just under a 2 million chocolate chips, you’d be lucky to get 1 million chocolate chips today. We need to get the gingerbread men and women working again. Yes, we can!

Gingerbread Country Cottage

Every gingerbread man dreams of retiring to the countryside and living out his sugary life in a quiet cottage amongst the friendly borders of the Lollipop Woods. Candyland prices are skyrocketing so buy now.